Imposter syndrome is a term that has been used since the late 70’s. Contrary to popular beliefs, it impacts both men and women. Symptoms are crippling : Stress, lower self confidence, anxiety, doubt, isolation, missed opportunities, shame, depression…
Some of the leaders I coach have suffered at some point from imposter syndrome, my role is to help them break the vicious circle of thoughts and actions. Imposter Syndrome is not a disease, it's not classified as a mental disorder, meaning it's possible to manage it with some good advise, determination and support.
I – What is imposter syndrome?
“Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalise their accomplishments.”
The imposter syndrome is a psychological term
-referring to a pattern of behavior
-where people doubt their accomplishments
-and have a persistent, yet often hidden fear of being exposed as a fraud.
Other than the notion that it’s about “feeling like a fraud”, imposter syndrome is rarely defined or clarified as to what it actually is and how to deal it. Yet, a staggering 70% of people suffer from it at some point in their career!
A few names will suffice to convince you that imposter syndrome has nothing to do with under-performance!
Sheryl Sandberg: “Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself -- or even excelled -- I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up."
Tom Hanks: "No matter what we've done, there comes a point where I think, 'How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?”
II – The manifestations of imposter syndrome
People who suffer from imposter syndrome believe that their success comes purely from luck or good timing or the fact that they worked twice as much as anyone else. They dismiss the idea that their success is the fruit of being intelligent or competent. This psychological phenomenon fuels a belief that they are inadequate and incompetent, despite tangible evidence that proves that they’re skilled and successful.
Under the influence of imposter syndrome, every piece of good news can be “translated” into a disappointment:
“I got the job!” becomes “Gosh! The other candidates must have been really bad!”
"I got promoted!" becomes "Sure, it's cheaper for them to promote me than to hire an external candidate".
Furthermore, imposter syndrome is subtle, as:
It is not “on” all the time. You could be feeling fine on Monday, then terrible on Tuesday.
It is not "on" in all areas of your life. For many, imposter syndrome only manifests at work, not in their private lives, they may feel poorly at work but confident as a friend, spouse, parent…
People who suffer from imposter syndrome are generally good at hiding it and that’s what is exhausting about it: All the hiding and the fear of being “found out”. It also prevents them from getting help.
The 5 profiles of imposter syndrome:
In her book : The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From The Imposter Syndrome and How To Thrive in Spite of It. Dr. Valerie Young categories the psychological phenomenon into 5 distinct profiles, which are 5 very different ways to experience imposter syndrome.
1 - The Perfectionist
Keyword: 100%
Perfectionism and imposter syndrome go well together because perfectionists set excessively high goals for themselves. Their occasional failures to reach unrealistic goals confirm their doubts about their inabilities. When they do reach their insanely high goals, they think it's because they sandbagged.
The Perfectionist is at high risk of burnout.
Are you a Perfectionist?
• Do you tend to micromanage people and experience difficulties delegating because you think that it'll only be perfect if you do it?
• Is your goal to be 100% perfect, 100% of the time? Is 99.99% failure in your eyes?
• When you miss the (insanely high) mark on something, do you accuse yourself of “not being cut out” for your job and ruminate on it for days?
2 - The Superhero
Keyword: MORE!
Since people who experience imposter syndrome are convinced they’re frauds amongst talented colleagues, they often push themselves to work much harder in order to measure up, which is a cover-up for their insecurities.
The work overload may harm their mental health, but also their relationships and their entire life as they struggle to enjoy down-time.
The Superhero is at high risk of harming his health and relationships.
Are you a Superhero?
• Do you often stay later at the office than the others and generally feel the need to work harder than others?
•Do you experience difficulties justifying or enjoying downtime?
• Do you find yourself sacrificing hobbies and passions, versus work?
• Do you value validation from hard work over results?
3 - The Natural genius
Keyword: Ease & speed
People who believe they must be a natural genius judge their competence based on the ease and speed at which they complete a task. For them, requiring time and efforts to master something is a failure. When they’re not able to do something new perfectly, they feel shame.
The Natural genius is at high risk of procrastinating.
Are you a Natural genius?
• Do you feel acute disappointment versus your inability to excel from the first try?
• Does your perception of your own underperformance creates a feeling of shame?
• Do you avoid challenges due to fear of not excelling right from the start?
4 - The Soloist
Keyword: Singlehandedly
Soloists feel that asking for help reveals their phoniness. They’re ready to get into terrible situations, rather than ask for help or to accept to collaborate. They accept to be in very uncomfortable situations rather than to ask for help. Not asking for assistance proves their worth.
The Soloist is at high risk of isolation.
Are you a Soloist?
• Do you believe that you need to accomplish things on your own?
• Do you find yourself proudly saying: “I don’t need anyone’s help”?
• Are you ready to discuss at length the requirements of a project, but not your needs as a person?
• Between "He lead his team to achieve X" and "He singlehandedly achieved X", you chose the latter, it's music to your ears.
5 - The Expert
Experts measure their competence based on how much they know or can do. They live in permanent fear that they will not know enough and of being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.
While there’s always something new to learn, taken too far, the need to feel like an expert before doing something turns into procrastination.
The Expert is at high risk of missed opportunities.
Are you an Expert?
• Would you never apply for a job unless you meet every single requirement?
• Do you fuel an on-going need to improve yourself, by constantly seeking out training or certifications?
• Do you feel like you still don’t “know enough”, even if you’ve been in your role for some time?
No need to say that each individual profile of people who suffer from Imposter Syndrome is likely to be a unique mix of some of the 5 described above.
III – Tackling Imposter Syndrome
The imposter syndrome can be tackled alone or with the help of others. From the below list of approaches, I work with executives I coach on choosing the tips that resonate the most with their context, making their own recipe for change They often come up with their own individual ideas to add.
What is important though, as we know that people who suffer from imposter syndrome tend to miss out on opportunities and to procrastinate, is to DO SOMETHING. So my advise is, use the tips below, or chose your own unique way, but do something about it today.
ALONE
1) Acknowledge imposter syndrome
To overcome something, we first need to know it’s there and what it is. Write down your imposter syndrome infused thoughts when they come to you. You can send an email to yourself on the spot, with the subject line "IS". Once you feel strong, re visit these notes and take a look at your imposter syndrome self. Putting some distance between the strong you and this other version of yourself is an important step towards making sure imposter syndrome does not take hold of you. In time, you'll gain some distance from your imposter syndrome moments, and will instantly differentiate beneficial from detrimental thoughts.
2) Tell your story
Work on your CV or imagine you’re preparing for a job interview. Practice telling the story of what you’ve achieved, the decisions you made, the things you created, while listing tangible outcomes. Tell the story of all the things that would not have happened without you. Basically, practice answering the question “What did you impact”?
Stories are powerful tools to convey complex concepts like courage, resilience, loyalty, creativity... and they're easily remembered. Taking the time to carefully and authentically carve your own story can help you accept the fact that you’ve actually achieved a lot!
3) Use a positive memory
When feeling incapable, isolate yourself in a quiet place and relax for a few minutes, eyes closed, remembering a wonderful memory of a time when you were scared to do something, but you did it anyway and it went so well you were delighted and proud. Reliving this memory slowly and in detail, will make you relive the emotions associated with it, which will increase your confidence for hours to come.
4) Face your fears
Create a list of open-ended questions you can ask yourself when you feel your fears coming. Questions such as: “What does it mean?”, “What’s at stake?”, “if I can’t do THAT, what else can I do?”, "What's the worst that can happen" So what?"... This will help show you that what you consider to be a mountain that’s impossible to climb over isn’t more than a bump in the road. It will also help you clearly make the difference between facts and emotions, and realise that the facts are not that worrying actually.
5) Do something TODAY
Get out of the typical perfectionist vicious cycle, and tackle TODAY something you’ve been procrastinating about. Accept the challenge without focusing solely on the outcome.
6) Explore your strengths
Do the https://www.strengthsprofile.com/ exercise through which, for £36, you’ll get a list of your unique strengths. What I find helpful with this exercise is that it goes deep and wide. Your unique set of 60 strengths are organised by family (communication, collaboration...) and by type (inherent, learned) so you can use it to think about how much you could achieve if you focused on enhancing your fortes even more! Your strengths are a great resource you can tap into as knowing and nurturing them is empowering.
WITH OTHERS
1) Be selective
If you want to start feeling more confident and positive about your capabilities, actively seek the people who make you feel empowered and proud, and see less of the others! Be aware of how you feel when you spend time with certain people: Upbeat and ready for a challenge or scared and doubtful? See less and less of the latter group. Of course, if someone you love is not amongst the people who make you feel good, I am not suggesting you cut bridges. Just avoid thorny topics with this person.
2) Collaborate
If you can't ask for help and advise, at least, collaborate. Collaborating with peers is one of the best ways to come to terms with the fact that you may not know EVERYTHING but you know at least as much as others, and to accept that no matter the topic, you’ll never know everything, but that’s OK because (1) nobody does and (2) other people are at hand to complement your contribution, to achieve something big.
3) Built a strong support group
Having a really strong support system that (1) feeds you ongoing feedback (2) encourages you (3) celebrates success with you, can give you a validation of your efforts and achievements that you'll be more ready to accept because the level of trust is optimal in this group. You see yourself in their eyes and you like what you see, it helps you improve your confidence levels.
4) Work with a professional
Challenge your way of thinking with the help of a coach or a counselor. You'll be surprised to hear that HR can often help with finding the professional you need and with a budget. Such professional will help you face what you think you’re "missing", either by realising that it’s not a deal-breaker or that it’s not a fact but an emotion. A professional can help you separate feelings from facts, and eventually focus on facts more. “I CAN do this”, “This is not that important”, “This is an opinion, not a fact”.
In fine
Although imposter syndrome has been around for ever and labelled over 40 years ago, it is still widely spread and affects 70% of people at some time in their career, including leaders in their field! A lot is at stake: Burnout, isolation, low confidence, missed opportunities… If you think you suffer from imposter syndrome, try to identify which of the 5 profiles most closely represent you, and consciously tackle imposter syndrome, alone or with the help of others.
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